Ever wonder what must have been going through the mind of the prodigal son when he set off with his dad’s inheritance? Luke 15:12 “‘Father, give me the share of your estate that should come to me.'” All we really know in this parable is that he “set off to a distant country where he squandered his inheritance on a life of dissipation.” I doubt he initially thought, “hey I want to go party it up in another country for awhile.” Maybe he did, but I’m willing to believe that he had some grand idea. Perhaps he was going to invest in his own business or buy some land that he thought was a good deal and if only he had that money from his dad, he could go and realize that dream. The problem is that he fell victim to temptations along the way and must have failed to consider what God intended for him to do with that inheritance and more importantly his life.
He runs out of money and probably tries to make due. You know he would have wasted anything he earned too repeating many of the same mistakes that cost him his inheritance in the first place. Then a famine strikes the country. He wakes up one day after becoming a hired hand tending swine which for a rich kid had to have been about as close to rock bottom as any of us can imagine and he has a realization, “How many of my father’s hired workers have more than enough to eat, but here am I, dying from hunger.” (Luke 15:17) Even though he had to be embarrassed about it, he decided to swallow his pride and return, defeated.
I thought a lot about this story this week. I thought about how often we get caught up in sin and fall into the same traps because we simply don’t learn our lessons. Have you ever been in that place where things aren’t working out the way you thought they would? You look back and realize that you keep falling short of what you want to be because you weren’t submissive to God’s plan. You ignore the big picture for what feels right in the moment. Well, this was my prayer:
Breathe Life Into Me – Ray Martin ©2012
Breathe life into me
My mind is weary and I concede
that every time I get back, get back to this place
I’m reminded that I tried to impose
my own way and ignored your plan
in the end I fall wearily back deflated
You have plans I’ve yet to see
so much potential still left to reach
frustratedly returning into this space
’cause I tripped up in the blindness of now
And even good intentions disregarding your will
entangled me irritatedly back defeated
Revive this tired soul
Renew this spirit
Restore the color from my faded failures
Repair this fractured heart
Breathe your life into me…
Thanks to my friend, Curtis Mulvenon, who is the cellist on the recording. We had a lot of fun working on this together and recording it in my living room. I didn’t intend for this song to be a regular tune at a church service, but maybe it could be used during reconciliation of some sort or during a retreat when you’re not expecting a ton of participation. The verses aren’t probably the easiest to retain, but the refrain would be easy to catch on to. Let me know if you end up with some good results from playing it. Suggestions and feedback are always welcome.